By Herman M. Lagon

No one warned me that the most thought-provoking part of judging a university-wide non-teaching personnel event would happen at the foot of the picturesque Almadria Highlands in Talisay City, Negros Occidental. As an academician, I expected fashion, talent and maybe a few standing ovations. But I did not expect a Q&A portion that began with chuckles — and ended with gut punches of truth.

Alongside co-judges Dr. Edmer Bernardo and Dr. Michael Dizon, I witnessed something that made me rethink what it means to be witty. The contestants turned absurd, almost ridiculous questions into moments of clarity, satire and unexpected social commentary. Honestly, I have forgotten the exact answers, but not the questions crafted by Dr. Dizon. Much so, I have not forgotten the laughter — or how that laughter became a mirror. So now, humor me: What if I had been the one holding the mic?

Pageant answers often get dismissed as fluff — just smiles with no soul. But that day, humor stepped up as a truth-teller, for anyone bold enough to find meaning in the supposedly nonsense Qs. Take this one: “Do you think the chickens killed for Jollibee are truly happy, considering they are called Chickenjoy?” My answer? Maybe not. But the name shows how we often dress up discomfort. We wrap harm in smiles, sell it as joy, and call it culture. Just like how Duterte’s drug war wrapped bloodshed in the language of order — a campaign of fear disguised as peace. Chickenjoy? That is not joy. That is branding with a body count.

“Which came first: the chicken or the egg?” Scientifically? The egg. It came from a not-quite-chicken that laid what became the first true chicken. Evolution works through gradual genetic mutations passed down through eggs, so the egg technically came first. But if I were onstage, I would say: the question suffices. Because some questions do not beg answers — they beg reflection. Wonder is its own kind of wisdom.

Then came the evolution classic: “If humans evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys today?” Here’s my take: because growth does not require extinction. Evolution adds to the tree — it does not chop off branches. Like people, species can coexist, evolve differently, and still belong. Or maybe, some monkeys saw where things were going — and stayed in the trees.

How about, “If patola is a vegetable, what does ‘pulis patola’ really mean?” Easy. Real patola nourishes. Pulis patola? That is performative authority — loud, reactive and empty of real leadership. Let us feed on the former, not the latter.

“Aside from a pot of gold, what’s at the end of a rainbow?” I would say: healing. Because rainbows do not promise riches — they offer a reminder that something beautiful can follow something heavy. That is the arc we should chase.

“If it’s called Piso Wi-Fi, why does it cost P5?” My answer? Because words are cheap. Access is not. It is a reminder that many things that look inclusive often have invisible paywalls. Equity is not just about slogans — it is about structures. And love? Sometimes it is like Piso Wi-Fi too — promised for a coin, but costs way more when you commit.

“Where are there more aswangs — Capiz, Dueñas or Dumangas?” Trick question. The real aswangs do not live in provinces. They sit in power, pass unjust laws and hoard resources. They do not need fangs — they just need your silence. Some run corporations and gobble up wages without remorse. Some wear robes on Sundays but judge louder than they pray. Others smile in barongs while bleeding dry the communities they swore to serve. They do not need fangs — they just need your silence.

And the immortal line, “Confidently beautiful with a heart”? To me, that is when your dignity speaks louder than your outfit. It is grace under fire. It is loving loudly and standing your ground quietly.

Then came the crowd-favorite oddballs: “If a red chicken lays an egg, will a duck that eats ketchup lay red eggs?” Not unless we are judging by color and not content. Real change does not come from looking at the part — it comes from becoming it.

“If a jeep says ‘God Bless Our Trip’, but drives recklessly, who’s being blessed?” Definitely not the passengers. Blessings do not come from stickers or slogans. They come from choices rooted in care, not carelessness.

“If the hotdog is neither hot nor a dog, why is it called that?” Because we have learned to swallow labels without questioning the recipe. It is a meaty metaphor for misinformation.

“If a pot is filled with Joy dishwashing liquid, is it a Joyride?” Only if cleaning up messes brings you joy — and if you are brave enough to ride with it.

“If a colorblind person sees only three colors in a rainbow, is their rainbow less real?” Not at all. Perception is not always about what’s visible — it is about what’s felt. Their rainbows may be fewer, but no less true.

“If a monkey graduates from college and tops the board, is it now a human?” No, but maybe it’s proof that in some systems, we are too focused on form, not wisdom. Humanity is more than a diploma.

“If a classroom has a green blackboard, a whiteboard that is not white, and a teacher who says ‘any questions?’ but gets annoyed when asked — who’s at fault?” Everyone. Because honesty, like learning, only works when we actually mean what we say.

See, humor is not the enemy of seriousness — it is often the secret door to it. The best answers do not rely on memorized lines. They come from people willing to reflect and respond with both wit and heart.

Maybe we need more of these “nonsense” questions in pageants’ Q&As. Because when we are allowed to play, we reveal what we truly believe. Sometimes the sharpest truths wear a clown nose — and the wisest voices echo from laughter.

So the next time you hear a silly question, do not dismiss it. Lean in. In the middle of the joke might be the kind of clarity this country sorely needs.

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Doc H fondly describes himself as a “student of and for life” who, like many others, aspires to a life-giving and why-driven world grounded in social justice and the pursuit of happiness. His views do not necessarily reflect those of the institutions he is employed or connected with./WDJ