“It took me way too long to realize that you shouldn’t be friends with people who never ask how you’re doing.” – Steve Maraboli

How are you now that the election period is over?

The 2022 Philippine presidential election was one of the toughest, most controversial and nerve-racking elections ever. It is no secret that many of us had been too invested in this election.

Those who never participated in an election suddenly found themselves in a voting precinct; those who were meek became warriors and fought for their presidential bets; those who normally stayed in their homes went out to campaign on the streets and attended rallies. While these things were great, we also couldn’t deny the fact that people became too immersed in them. Many of us (myself included) argued with families and friends. Differences of opinions and beliefs became too apparent. Toxicity was all over the internet and on the streets. I personally experienced sexual harassment and cyberbullying because of this election – but it didn’t hamper me from defending my candidate.

Even when the campaign period ended and election results were out, the toxicity and fighting continued. Supporters of different politicians still stand behind the ones they voted for, whether they won or lost. Thus, the negativity and opposing views remain… “unity” and “radical love” were never truly achieved.

But, more than the election result itself, many people said that the recent toxicity affected their mental health. Friends and family members blocked and unfriended one another on social media; some even took the next stop of totally closing their doors in person. Old friendships ended, and family relations crumbled. Even strangers from the streets and social media became either newfound friends or detestable enemies.

So, are you still okay?

If there is one thing that the election has taught me, it is knowing the people surrounding me. I divided them into three groups.

The Impassive Group. These are those who remain because we don’t discuss politics, whether we supported the same or different bets. Politics is indeed just fleeting. Now that the election has ended, we are back to our everyday lives for the next six years until another presidential election begins.

The Discourse Group. The second group of people is those I can talk with despite our differences. It is essential to speak about conflicting differences at times. It gives us learning and different perspectives, which make us realize the things on the other side of the wall. When you do talk about these differences, however, both sides should talk calmly, sensibly and with respect… especially to those people you don’t want to lose.

The Toxic Group. Unfortunately, there are also those who you try to talk to but resort to violent and hurtful attacks, the third group. These people are the ones that affect our mental state the most. While I am blessed that I can handle below-the-belt attacks, not all people do. There was even one report of a guy who committed suicide after a heated argument with an opposing supporter of another party. He already had personal issues, but the heated exchange on social media may have led to his untimely demise. This also shows us that mental health is not an issue we should take for granted.

As we argue with families, friends and strangers, we do not know what their personal struggles are. Thus, it is best to keep everything calm, and we must refrain from saying destructive and hurtful comments to each other.

Some people asked if it is okay to unfriend those who are not mentally healthy for you, and my take on that is a yes. Mental health is a priority for everyone. Social media has become a haven for toxic people, and they can take a lot of your energy. For people who give you anxiety – online or offline – it is best to provide a space between you and that person.

A lot may feel guilty because they do not want to cut ties, but prioritizing your health is more important. No one can take care of your mental health better than you do. And if you worry that it’ll be the end of your relationship with these people, remember the old adage that time can heal all wounds. So, give it time.

The people you cut ties with may or may not come back to you. If they do not, it is not a waste. God has better plans for you, and you’ll meet other people who share the same values and beliefs as you do – the kind of people that you deserve. If they come back, then lessons are learned, and healing has come.

Just remember that at the end of the day, you have to be okay… because that’s the only answer you need when asked how you are after the election.

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