“You know, women are as promiscuous as men and yet, of course, people are inhibited from having an affair or a relationship because the real-world consequences are a drag.” –Lee Child
Fans of Queen and the band’s lead vocalist Freddie Mercury can count on this writer to admire their songs, most of which were recorded between the 1970s and 1980s, when I started loving music. However, when it comes to how the singer led his life and the message it imparts to those who lionize him, I am one who does not consider him a role model.
Without a doubt, most of Mercury’s music was great but he did not live an exemplary life; at least, not a lifestyle today’s youth should emulate. Massive popularity among fans (including Filipinos) was no excuse to flaunt his promiscuous lifestyle, much less “justifying” it as exotic to the degree where it blurs the line between right and wrong – decency and indecency.
While a culturally-defined concept, the Merriam-Webster dictionary includes in its description of promiscuity not only frequent but “indiscriminate” sexual behavior. When Mercury died of AIDS in London on November 24, 1991, The Sun reported, “He lavished expensive gifts on his lovers – diamonds, Mercedes cars, and money.” His former personal manager Paul Prenter, who died from AIDS two months prior, earlier revealed the Queen singer slept with “hundreds of men,” partly because he was terrified of sleeping alone.
The Sun quoted Prenter: “It was more likely that I would see him walk on water than go with a woman. Freddie told me his first homosexual relationship happened when he was at boarding school in India, when he was 14. While we were touring, there would be a different man every night; he would probably go to bed by 6:00 a.m. or 7:00 a.m. – rarely alone. He has a fear of sleeping alone, or even being alone for long stretches.”
He recalled receiving a phone call from Mercury after John Murphy, a one night stand, died of AIDS, saying, “I’m afraid I could die of AIDS.”
Prenter also pointed out, AIDS killed Tony Bastin, another one of Mercury’s lovers.
Despite the “hundreds” of male lovers, the singer’s fortune ended up with a woman, one-time girlfriend Mary Austin. He once said, “The only friend I’ve had is Mary [and] she will inherit the bulk of my fortune; no one else will get a penny, except for my cats Oscar and Tiffany.” The pair lived together for seven years until 1980, when they broke up due to circumstances surrounding his sexuality and the pressures of fame; however, they kept in touch.
“I don’t want anybody else,” Mercury said. “Over the years, I have become bitter and I don’t trust anybody else because I have been let down so many times.”
Austin was showered with gifts, including a home worth £600,000 and after she gave birth to a son in 1990, Mercury was selected as the godfather.
“Our love affair ended in tears,” the singer recalled. “My life is extremely volatile and someone like Mary couldn’t cope with it.”
“Success has brought me millions and world idolization, but not the thing we all need – a loving relationship,” he added.
Following the recently release of Queen biopic “Bohemian Rhapsody,” it was alarming to see the growing reverence for the late singer by the younger generation. The film traces the meteoric rise of the band through their iconic songs and revolutionary sound.
According to a Psychology Today piece by Dr. Stephen A. Diamond: “Preference for frequent sexual contact is not necessarily the same as being sexually indiscriminating. The latter, in women, indicates a possible compulsive and, therefore, pathological quality to the excessive sexual behavior, referred to traditionally as nymphomania (in men, it is called satyriasis). Such indiscriminating or sometimes even random sexual behaviors can be commonly seen in various mental disorders such as psychosis, manic episodes, substance abuse and dependence, dissociative identity disorder, as well as borderline, narcissistic and antisocial personalities, and can, in fact, often be partially diagnostic of such pathological conditions.”/WDJ