Being called ugly

Posted by watchmen
July 12, 2017
Posted in OPINION

Had a rather surprising experience earlier this week, was called ugly on a social media platform. The idea of being called ugly was not the surprising part, but having reached the age of 34 and witnessing an individual seemingly within the same age range having such a desire to put other people down in that way.
However, this would not be the first time being directly referred to as ugly.
In middle school, a classmate turned around in homeroom and said “You’re ugly,” it appeared to be her substitution for “Good Morning.” Then again, that was middle school, today, it’s a person in their 30s who has yet to grow out of that mindset.
Instead of a less-than-desirable salutation, the more recent comment was framed in a response to announcing a return to the Philippines, saying: “You should not return. You’ll just add to the ugly people in the Philippines.”
Ironically, looking over the person’s profile, they referred to themselves as “simple and understanding.”
Olivia Gordon penned a piece called “Being called ugly taught me the true meaning of beauty” in the June 2017 issue of Glamour Magazine (UK).
She wrote, “People’s words can stay with us for a long time, even those from our school days,” noting, “Hatred and cruelty is what makes a person truly ugly.”
Gordon recalled being labeled the “Ugliest” in a school “slam book” and saying how it impacted her entire teenage life.
“I became fixated on my beaky nose, lank hair, pudgy tummy, freckly face, and sticky-out ears,” she described. “I was consumed by one concern: whether people thought I was attractive or not.”
Gordon then discussed entering adulthood and, as a journalist, covering the Miss England beauty contest.
“Instead of agonizing over why I didn’t look like the girls on the runway, I thought about what I liked about myself – I was a sparky, compassionate young reporter – and I felt proud to be me,” she wrote. “My inner beauty mattered, not the shape of my nose or the number on my scales.”
Plastic surgeon, Dr. Robert M. Tornambe, blogged about beauty on the Huffington Post back in 2011 and, despite his profession, discussed how one’s personality defines the perception of beauty.
“Certain negative characteristics of one’s personality can actually make that person less attractive and less physically appealing,” he explained. “It is not as though they grow warts or actually change their physical characteristics, but their appearance is diminished by their bad behavior, and their beauty decreases in your mind.”
Everybody has those days when they feel ugly, but it’s all the more worse on the receiving end of somebody verbalizing an observation and being called ugly.
Obviously, those that are close will be encouraging, maybe say the opposite of what the “hater” remarked, but it will still stick nonetheless.
Personally, as petty as it is and as meaningless as it is (even recognizing the insignificance), just like the incident in middle school, it is something that will stick no matter how many people say otherwise.
Browsing a reddit thread, somebody asked: “I have been called ugly a few times in my life when I was in high school and even by some random strangers in the street. I am not gonna lie, it always felt terrible… Have you ever been called ugly?”
Among the multitudes who related to this person’s plight, a few responses stood out, things one would likely hear from their close mates.
“In every instance, a person calling someone else ugly to their face isn’t about actually rating attractiveness; it’s 100% about that person’s own insecurities” and “When somebody says you’re ugly, it’s for a very specific reason… they feel like you have some kind of power over them” and “People who make fun of someone’s looks are just childish and not worth your time.”
Sure, it hurts.
Will the memory remain? Yes.
Even admitting to being fixated on the issue (when one really should not be), just have to remember there will eventually be a realization there are other things far more important to think about and focus on – just waiting for it./WDJ

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *