After living overseas for years and traveling to various parts of the world, one of the oddities that is, most likely, distinctly Bacolod City is the unnecessary need of seemingly able-bodied people to be dropped off at the door of whatever destination and sending their (presumably) family member to go park the cart – a stand-in chauffer. This is different than public transportation, like taxis, where it is a hired service to transfer one from Point A to Point B; this is the average citizen being driven by a family member who, regardless of how much traffic is piling up or how many horns are blasting, insist they are unable to walk the few meters from the parking spot and demand being dropped off.
Additionally, when exiting a car, most individuals open the door, step out, perhaps take one quick glance in, close the door, and walk away. When these people are dropped off, there is always a dramatic swinging open of the door; one foot steps out slowly; they stand there with the door ajar and take in the view of the mall; turn slowly before shutting the door – exponentially increasing the time it take to exit a car and holding up other cars. It seems like everything is moving in slow motion, maybe people are watching too many soap operas.
The primary explanation of this is an attitude of superiority – they want those behind them to wait, forcing them to see who is exiting the car, with the expectation they will be marveled at. Perhaps a small minority will, but, fairly certain, it only creates more consternation among those being inconvenienced by their conceited antics.
According to University of Notre Dame psychology professor, Anita E. Kelly Ph.D., “People who act superior may be masking some inadequacy.”
In a 2010 article, she discussed how maltreatment or neglect in childhood may lead to a superiority complex in adulthood, as a way of shielding their past.
“Maltreated or neglected children might say that they are great, but these memory and mirror tasks uncover a sense of self that falls far short of greatness,” she explained.
In the United States, for example, with the exception of the elderly or disabled, patrons at local establishments park and walk, like average individuals. Even those with young children assemble their strollers at their parking space, not at the front door of the mall, forcing everybody behind them to wait. In Australia, they have special parking for people who have prams (strollers).
Beyond the attitude, the dismissal of any inconvenience they may be creating just adds to the frustration their arrogance generates. Marketing professor at the University of Texas McCombs School of Business, Raj Raghunathan Ph.D., explained in a 2015 article that individuals who are so caught up in their desire for superiority are often ignorant of the things going on around them.
“When you focus on coming out on top, you can’t focus as well on the task at hand, thereby worsening your performance,” he said.
Raghunathan also discussed the overall lack of happiness when someone is solely focused on putting on this pretense of superiority.
He said the attitude “fosters the tendency to engage in social comparisons.”
“You might feel proud when things are going well, but when they aren’t (which is bound happen sooner or later), you will feel miserable,” the professor explained. “There’s a reason they say, ‘Pride comes before a fall.’”
Raghunathan also said the behavior, many times, leads to materialism, noting, “Materialistic people are not happy.”
“The reason that pursuit of superiority makes one materialistic is because the tendency to compare oneself with others pushes one to use quantifiable, measurable, yardsticks to do the comparing,” he explained. “This is because it’s easier to compare with others on measurable, quantifiable yardsticks (wealth, number of twitter followers, rank in the hierarchy, etc.) than on less easy-to-measure ones like skills or attitudes.”
As with most issues, the foundation of the argument goes beyond being dropped off at the door to the mall and relegating a family member as a driver; it is also a factor in how people treat each other. The same superiority complex that compels people to believe they are incapable of walking and must be treated as if they are being chauffeured is the same that coerces people to believe they do not have to move out of the way of others, even if they are going the wrong direction; the same that makes people believe, even if a car is speeding down the road, they can still stroll slowly across while staring at their mobile phone and not express any type of urgency; the same situation when checking out at the grocery store and no bagger is available, that they are presumably “too good” to perform such a task, forcing the cashier to do double duty and unnecessarily hold up the line.
The point has been made many times in the past. The simple idea of treating others as equals will contribute nothing but positivity to the community. However, while everybody is in some type of personal competition with each other, there will always be rifts preventing the community from moving forward./WDJ