“No violence, gentlemen – no violence, I beg of you! Consider the furniture!” –Arthur Conan Doyle

Friendship ends where the attraction to sex objects begins. While there are some quarrels among “macho du jours” in government that are job-related, they have not been necessarily been sparked by a tug-of-war among neophytes, like the case of playboys Bebot Alvarez and Tonyboy Floirendo.
As a capitol reporter in Iloilo 27 years ago, I recall a brawl between then-Deputy Governor Ruven Bermudo and Provincial Tourism Chief Manny Benedicto on July 3, 1990, while DYRI “Radyo Agong” reporter Arsenio ‘Kamlon’ Ang and myself were conducting an interview with then-acting Governor, Vice Governor Robert ‘Bob’ Maroma.

Dagger
Even before the interview started, we noticed Benedicto and Bermudo, then in their mid-50s, swapping dagger looks, like Crassus and Spartacus.
In one instance, Bermudo removed his eyeglasses, like Eddie Garcia, to plant a sharp stare at Benedicto, who reciprocated with his own Pacquito Diaz-style look.
While Maroma was answering our questions, the two disappeared surreptitiously. They entered the conference room about four meters away, minutes later, we heard a loud commotion.
The noise didn’t stop Maroma from talking but our eyes – Maroma’s, Ang’s, and mine – started to exchange tacit signals, like actors in a silent movie.
When the conference room’s divider started to shake violently and two angry voices dished out “unprintables,” Maroma stood up and rushed to the scene.
I grabbed my camera and followed suit.
Kamlon scrambled to prepare a tape recorder.

Throats
Inside, we saw two gladiators literally holding each other’s throats with one hand and throwing rabbit punches with the other hand. The sight was reminiscent of two Tokyo Dome sumo wrestlers. Blows rained from all angles; it was a chaotic scene.
Maroma tried to separate the two but was in awkward position and might receive one of the flying fists.
So determined were the two Capitol bigwigs to maim each other they refused to let go of their grips – Benedicto’s shaking fingers came close to drilling holes into Bermudo’s neck; Bermudo locked Benedicto’s jaw with a tight Steven Segal grip. Both were gasping for breath like sprinters in a 100-meter dash and their false teeth were threatening to jump out.
Maroma lost balance on his second attempt to act as third man in the ring.

Photos
Instead of taking photos, I grabbed Benedicto’s hand to prevent his fingers from committing an act of cannibalism. Having lost much energy, he obliged.
Bermudo, also fighting for air, let go of Benedicto’s jaw, but not after leaving some souvenirs on his skin.
“Tama na ina! (That’s enough),” Maroma, who was himself losing some energy (and patience), shouted while scratching his head in disgust.
When the smoke had cleared, the protagonists managed to produce Mona Lisa-like smiles, as if King Kong did not just vandalize their mangled faces. Either the pain from their violent physical activity did not yet take its toll, or they were ashamed for acting like kindergarten pupils and tried to suppress it.
No arrest was made, even as Maroma hinted at slapping the misbehaving officials with administrative cases.
Kamlon, who hit the jackpot with his tape-recorded “eyewitness account,” had a field day, repeatedly playing the violent episode to friends and politicians, including Bermudo and Benedicto, who just grinned to hide their embarrassment.

Miss RP-Guam
We later found out their conflict emanated from preparations for the arrival of Miss Philippines-Guam in Iloilo that year.
As tourism boss, Benedicto, of Dumangas, begrudged Maasin-based Bermudo deciding to bypass his authority and disapprove items in the budget, among other reasons.
If there was one person so terribly upset and mournful that morning, it was neither Benedicto nor Bermudo, who had kissed and made up. It was Maroma, whose interview had been cut off unceremoniously, resulting in his failure to deliver an important message as news the following day was dominated by the skirmish of his warring subalterns./WDJ