Visiting the gym five days a week, many of the regular annoyances have been locked away as expected behaviors from fellow gym-goers. However, there are many instances when some of those behaviors spring up and generate those same pangs of annoyance from when they were first noticed. The way some choose attire, such as mesh tops or revealing tank tops, that are only meant to draw attention; other attention-seeking actions like random dancing or doing yoga on the treadmill; or, the most relatable for most, the inability for many to put things back where they belong are a few of the eccentricities witnessed at the gym.
There is also the often spotted staring, which occurs both among gym-goers and mall janitors who frequently stop outside the non-frosted glass and stand outside, frozen in place and not blinking.
Something seemingly unique to the local gym environment is the spray bottle and rags provided to clean up after one uses the machines. At gyms visited in other parts of the world, the most common method of cleaning up a machine after use are those anti-bacterial wipes, usually a large tub is made available. Patrons can pull one cloth or two to ensure the machine is of decent condition for the next user – essentially, beyond it being a sanitation issues, it’s also a sign of respect to one’s contemporary; leaving the machine covered in sweat just shows a lack of regard for the next person.
Beyond those who choose not to clean up at all, there are also a good number of patrons who take the spray bottle and keep it with them, as if it were only for them to use. If that were the case, the gym should be providing more than two bottles – unless they think one is for them and the other is for “everybody else.”
Perhaps it comes from a culture where many are unwilling to carry bits of garbage or fast food trays and instead leave them anywhere with the expectation somebody else will take care of it. For these gym-goers, they want a machine that has been sanitized, but when it comes to the apparatus used to clean, that is considered somebody else’s job to carry it back a couple meters for somebody else to use it.
There’s also the “diffusion of responsibility,” which Dr. Alex Lickerman describes as, “When a task is placed before a group of people, there’s a strong tendency for each individual to assume someone else will take responsibility for it – so no one does.” He explains, some of the reasons behind the theory are people just don’t care, or lack regard for others; or are just lazy.
In a 2010 Psychology Today article, he wrote, “No four words in the English language are ever easier to say than: It’s not my problem.”
Dr. Neel Burton classifies similar behavior under his “dramatic” and “erratic” cluster of behavioral disorders, which is comprised of antisocial and narcissistic disorders.
He hits the nail on the head when he wrote, “The person disregards social rules and obligations” and that their attitude is “characterized by a callous unconcern for the feelings of others.”
Digging deeper into the issue, it touches upon a topic often discussed in this column, narcissistic personality disorder.
“The person has an extreme feeling of self-importance, a sense of entitlement,” he explains – much like the need for them to keep the spray bottles to themselves and foregoing any necessity to share with other patrons, or an expectation for others to ask it of them.
That attitude results in actions wherein, as Burton elaborates, “He may seem self-absorbed, controlling, intolerant, selfish, or insensitive.”
Part of this may also involve a lack of self-awareness.
Steve Tobak wrote in a 2013 issue of Inc. about self-awareness and how a lack of it can be one’s downfall. He, coming from a business perspective, describes it as in between taking advice from one more experienced and being in deep denial and ignoring what is being told. The lack of self-awareness, he describes as, “Where people sort of know, deep down, what they need to do but something’s stopping them from doing it” – much like, knowing the spray bottles need to be returned to their rightful place, but, for whatever reason, something is preventing them from doing what they know is proper.
It also ties into another bizarre gym behavior that exhibits an excessive need for attention.
In the span of a week, there will also be multiple individuals grunting excessively loud or counting their repetitions noisily to ensure that, even those with headphones on, know how many they can do; somebody flamboyantly dancing to the music playing and looking around to make sure somebody is paying attention to their ridiculous display; or somebody speaking at a much higher volume or exaggerating a laugh in order for the entire gym to turn their heads – honestly, with the all the noises going on and a need to raise the volume in the headphones just to drown it all out, it may just lead to deafness in the future.
Tobak also talks about the use of “grandiosity” and how it could be a detriment.
“When we make over-the-top overtures to how confident we are,” he explained “That’s a sign we’re genuinely in over our heads and are overcompensating to appear like we’ve got everything under control.”
It can be assumed, in most of these cases where excessive noises are made in an attempt to impress others, it is probably a case of overcompensation – of what, nobody besides the perpetrators themselves would know for sure.
It could also be a simple case of attention-seeking, which Dr. Barton Goldsmith describes as “one of the unhealthiest actions.”
To those seemingly in need of the ogles, he wrote, “There may be some insecurity or self-esteem issues going on for you.”
Also called histrionic personality disorder, Psychology Today describes the issue as, “A person with this condition tends to over-dramatize situations, which may impair relationships and lead to depression.” Symptoms include self-centeredness, uncomfortable when not the center of attention (which explains the obsession with volume and trying to make sure the entire gym can hear one grunting or laughing); overly concerned with physical appearance and using physical appearance to draw attention to self (which would explain some of the odd clothing choices made); excessive dramatics with exaggerated displays of emotion (which goes along with the loud conversations and trying to assert themselves in their assumed superiority); among others.
Among other behaviors observed at the gym is the overt staring.
Probably one of the most egregious was when a girl was being trained on a leg workout, on all-fours lifting a weight in the pit of her knee, two guys who were working other nearby literally dropped what they were doing and stared at her. Not sure if she noticed, since she was not facing a mirror, but the reaction by the guys was repulsive. If they turned to catch a glimpse is one thing, but they literally dropped their weights, stood up, and stared – as if she was working out solely for their entertainment. It is similar to the many occasions when mall janitors stand outside and stare in through the window at people working out.
For somebody who, personally, does not enjoy staring, it’s an issue, but considering what has been discussed, with so many in need of attention and begging for eyes to be on them, perhaps the staring was more than welcome./WDJ